I attended a Teal Swan event in Long Beach at the Queen Mary. Every event that I attend I fully go into knowing that I am meant to be there and will walk away with a gem that will serve me personally and professionally. This event was no exception.

Teal talked about a concept she refers to as our “kiddie pool.” Our kiddie pool is the pool that we stand in while offering invitations to others to join us in our pool. And when that invitation is rejected it causes us great discomfort. We then interpret the rejection as a lack of worthiness of being loved. And that moves into a deep sense of loneliness.

The person who rejected the invite becomes the object of our need to please or plead with the intention of them getting in our pool. They take on a power position. We can spend days, weeks or even years using our charm or tactics in hopes that we will change their mind.

I had an AHA moment and it became so clear. The rejection becomes a distraction a shiny penny in the corner. The need to be loved and seen by that person becomes the focus and energy drain. It pulls the focus away from all the amazing people who have accepted our invitation. My kiddie pool immediately transformed into a rooftop pool with an amazing skyline view, cabana boys and pretty drinks with umbrellas. I had realized how focusing on the rejections kept me in a kiddie pool over the years. I was able to see the vast number of incredible people that are currently standing in my pool and my internal loneliness dissipated immediately. My heart filled with joy. I knew in that moment that I was loved and I am LOVE.

Moving forward if the answer is no it is no. It has brought such a sense of Freedom. They just don’t want to get in my pool and that is okay. It really is that simple. Today I am in deep gratitude. My pool is swimming with Sisters and Brothers on flamingo pool floats, springing off the diving board and having a blast.

Who are you pleading with today to get into your kiddie pool? How many more days, weeks or years do you want to continue to focus on the rejected invitations? Are you ready to upgrade from a kiddie pool to a fabulous rooftop pool populated with cabana boys and fancy drinks? It is your choice Sisters and Brothers. Look forward to seeing your poolside.
Brand Director, Marketer, Author & International Speaker
Joie Gharrity

In the Red Carpet Guide to Visibility and Influence, Joie shares tangible Visibility and Influence strategies, techniques and tips that she learned working in the Hollywood entertainment industry for 15+ years. Joie was inspired to write the book because she realized that most creative types and entrepreneurs were not focused on standing in their own Spotlight and selling themselves, which impacts their long-term success and earning power. She designed the book to double as a guide packed with her signature branding and marketing techniques that can be implemented easily and quickly.
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